Saturday, October 13, 2012

Live, Laugh, Love: Jellie's Tips for the Newest of Newlyweds

Tomorrow we will have been married for three months, a whole quarter of a year. Whoa! 

She may have us beat in the world fame and fortune, but so far, in the land of wedded bliss, we are kicking some serious Kardashian booty. But who's counting?

I really can't attach a single adjective to our first months together as husband and wife. So many events have occurred, and so many new experiences have been thrown our way. Its been quite a journey so far, and we can't wait to see what lies ahead. But for now, we'd like to share with you a few of things we've learned along the way to one of the earliest of the newlywed milestones, in a nifty "Live, Laugh, Love" format. Cute, huh? :)

Photo by Miss Lane Photography
Live: So many of us spend massive amounts of our lives waiting. Waiting for a great promotion, the beginning of a relationship, the start of the New Year so we can go to the gym to "fulfill" our New Year's resolutions for all of one week...

As newlyweds, you probably spent the last several months (or years) anxiously awaiting your wedding day. Now that it has come and gone, you may find yourself waiting for the next big life-changing step, like your dream house or a baby. Our advice to you? Stop waiting for life to happen, and make it happen! This is your life! Right now! You may not have a white picket fence and the standard 2.5 kids at the moment, but what you do have is each other. Work together as the fantastic team that you are to build your life together right now! You don't have to drown yourselves in debt this instant splurging on a house you aren't able to afford, and you don't have to get busy in bed if you aren't 100% ready for a baby, but you should take little steps towards those big hopes and dreams you have for your future, and you'll get a few steps closer every day!

Hoping for a baby sometime soon? Take a pre-natal vitamin to prepare your body for the changes and needs of pregnancy, and invest some time into researching other ways to make yourself, and your home, ready for a baby.

Dreaming of mansions and beachfront properties? Jump start your savings by figuring out where you can trim down your budget. Every little bit helps.

Want to take over the world? Take a course in neurobiology so you can begin designing your mind control device prototype with knowledge-backed confidence!

Laugh: Just because you're married now doesn't mean you have to take on every characteristic of "maturity". Its okay if you still like to have your teddy bear by your pillow at night (I know I do!), or if you and your spouse enjoy Disney movie marathons on a regular basis. Yes, getting married comes with a greater need for maturity, hard work, and all that other fun grown-up stuff, but don't be afraid to get a little goofy and let out your inner-child every once in awhile. Or little bit every day!

We enjoy coloring pictures for each other, playing board games, and baking cookies together quite frequently, and it does wonders for our relationship! Inexpensive (or free), low intensity, fun activities. How can you go wrong? Its a great way to reconnect after a long day in lieu of watching our favorite TV shows on Netflix. Not only do we get to spend time together in a relaxing way, but we also have the benefit of being able to have a good conversation in the process.

We also spend a lot of time being big kids outside of our home, too. The Orange County Great Park in Irvine is one of our favorite "date spots". There's a giant helium balloon to take rides in, a Merry-Go-Round, and tons of sports equipment and games to use...and its all free! So go head out to a cheap amusement park or carnival, or take your furbaby to the dog beach (Huntington Dog Beach is our favorite!) and play in the waves!

Love: Seems like a given, right? Wrong! When you've been dating someone for a while, the romance can start to fade a little. Its usually not because one partner cares less for the other, but because couples settle into a routine, often a routine that includes waiting for life to start (see above), and forget about each others' needs in the now. Then, when you get married, you get that surge of lovey-dovey, eternal honeymoon feelings and all is well...until the romance starts to fade again. Just like when you were dating, and even more so now that he put a ring on it, you've got to put effort into your relationship to get the fire to burn brighter and brighter. You've got to put effort into your relationship just to keep the fire from burning out!

Be intentional about taking at least a few minutes out of each day to show your love for your spouse, emotionally, physically, however. It doesn't have to be anything big, or sparkly, or epic (but it can be!), the little things make a difference, too!

An idea we stole from Pinterest has helped us accomplish this regularly, despite our packed schedules: Print or write "I love you because" on any style paper, stick in a frame, and use a dry erase marker to leave a note to your spouse with one of the many reasons why you love them. This one is much cuter than ours, but its the same basic idea. :)

This easy little craft project has become such a blessing to us. We don't always think or remember to remind each other of how much we appreciate the littlest of things one does for the other. Walking into our bedroom and seeing a thank you message for letting Sadie out at 3 A.M. or cooking dinner alone when the other wasn't feeling good has made both of our days on multiple occasions. We know the other cares, but sometimes, being able to see that love and appreciation right before our eyes, can make a world of difference.

It really is the little things.


Congratulations to all of us newlyweds (and not so newlyweds!), and God's blessings to us all as we continue down the incredible path He has laid out for us.

Justin and Ellie

What are some of the most important and treasured pieces of wisdom you've gained from your marriage, and how has it helped your relationship grow?

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